I hope you see this but you probably unfollowed already

Waking up to see that you had removed yourself from my life is the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through. I still haven’t come to terms with it.

I deleted your playlists. Music is supposed to be my escape from the pain but there you sat, reminding me of the deepest pain I’ve ever felt.

I guess forever means different things to both of us because forever isn’t supposed to be this short. I bought all the dreams you sold me now I sit here watching them turn to dust. It’s not your fault, I know.

I removed our picture from my Morgana’s home screen. We were so happy in that picture, take me back. Please. In its place is a picture of Spinerella and Netossa from She-Ra. They remind me of us. Us from the future I imagined with you.

I wish that night never happened. I would take it all back just to have one more second with you. I know that’s not possible but a person can wish.

I deleted your pictures from my phone today. I moved the album to the bottom of the list but anytime I swiped too far left, I was hit with a picture of you. It certainly didn’t help that Apple thinks we’re the same person.

The pictures are still on Morgana. And they’ll stay there. Because how else am I going to hold on to the false hope that we can be together again?

I sound pathetic. I’m sorry. This isn’t me. Well maybe it is. I don’t know who I am without you here to remind me.

I guess what I’m saying is, you’re my everything. You were my one and now you’re gone. And I’m here trying to pick up the pieces but they’ve been ground to fine sand. There’s nothing to pick up, but maybe there’s something to remould.

We were going to last forever but that’s over now. He won. And I have to go on living like my heart wasn’t just fed to the dogs.

I’ll miss you. There’s a you shaped hole in me that’ll never be filled. And I’m just going to go ahead and act like it’s not there.

I guess this is it. This is me saying goodbye.

Student of law, writer. linktr.ee/emmanwosisi