She was 13, walking to school on her own before the sun came up. She knew a shortcut but to take it would mean to pass by the den of street urchins, all high on alcohol and other narcotics. It was dangerous but it would save her 30 minutes and the greater danger of walking between the railway and an ever-busy express so she took it. The men looked terrifying even in the dark, the place smelled of alcohol and weed, she greeted good morning and hastened her steps but just a little so they don’t notice. They returned her greeting and wished her a good day at school. She did not meet rapists that day or every day after that till she was done with secondary school and stopped going that way.
It was almost 11, her hostel would be locked by 12 and she had nowhere else to go. She’d been out on somewhat of a blind date wearing the shortest dress she had with no underwear because she couldn’t find the right pair and her friends said it was okay. He was a lot older than her. Having been trained to never say no to elders, when he offered to take her home she couldn’t refuse. She sat in the front seat of the car, terrified and promising God that she would never put herself in that situation again. They passed through many dark roads, deserted corners, and spots under bridges. He dropped her in front of her hostel and thanked her for a wonderful evening. She did not meet a rapist that day.
It was late when they called an Uber. They were in unfamiliar terrains and needed to get home fast. The driver came up and after some miles driven said he needed to change his car because the one they were in had some faults and may stop in the middle of the road somewhere. They were scared but they agreed. He took the next exit off the major road to a somewhat lonely street. Stopped at a garage and told the girls to get out of the car. His friend was waiting with the new car. They got in and were back on the road in no time. They got home safe that night, they had met no rapists.
She was at the club with her friends, one of them was celebrating her birthday and she had to support her friend even though she hated the setting. She excused herself to go to the car to pick up her power bank. There was an obviously drunk bodybuilder standing a few feet away from her car. She didn’t notice him until she opened her car because of how dark it was. He said hello and gave a little wave, she returned his greeting, half out of fear and the other half out of courtesy. She got her power bank and went back into the club, almost running. He could have easily overpowered her but she did not meet a rapist that day.
He was her boyfriend. They were on his bed making out and it was getting to the point of no return. They had had the talk before and she told him she wasn’t ready to take the next step with him and they generally avoided such situations. But that day was special; she was ovulating and as horny as ever, he hadn’t gotten any since the almost year-long relationship began. As things got more passionate it was getting harder for either of them to stop. He asked her if he had her permission to “go all the way”, she said she wasn’t sure. She wanted it but she wasn’t thinking straight. He stood up and walked away. She did not meet a rapist that day.
Her car stopped on the road. The once-beloved serenity of her estate was fast becoming the bane of her existence as she couldn’t fix the car and no other vehicle was passing by. She considered just leaving it there and walking home but with the size of the estate and the distance between where she was and her house, that was a suicide mission. A group of men came by in a car after some minutes and offered to help. The car was fixed in a few short minutes and she was good to go. She thanked them profusely promising to repay their kindness in any way. They said goodnight and went their separate ways. She did not meet rapists that night.
It was a hot night and she was stuck in the office finishing up some paperwork. She had taken off her jacket but that wasn’t enough. Thinking she was alone, her shirt soon followed and she was left sitting in her camisole with all the goods on display. The night janitors came up, she didn’t even know they had those but then she’d never been there that late. They left to clean another section while she worked and she quickly finished up and left. She met no rapists that night.
She was at a house party and had a little too much to drink. She was alone since her friends couldn’t come. She passed out on the sofa. She woke up hours later tucked into a bed with strange clothes on. He came in with some water and aspirin explaining that she threw up all over herself so he had to give her a bath and change her clothes. His sister had been with him the whole time and he slept downstairs on the couch. She thanked him profusely and started to cry. She did not meet a rapist that night.
Rape is never a result of the victim’s choice of route or attire. It isn’t caused by intoxication of the victim or the assaulter. It doesn’t happen because the victim chooses to trust a stranger or go out alone at night. Rape happens because people choose to be rapists, to take something from the person of another without permission. Rape is a conscious choice the rapist makes not a decision left to chance.
To reiterate, rape is NOT the victim’s fault, it is the fault of the person who has made a conscious choice to rape.
